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So Guess What?

Today lived up to the reputation of a dozen Februarys past. I have hated this month with a passion for most of my life, because shit like today always seems to find a way to happen.

I ended up staying here an extra day, due to the coming storm and still needing to get shit done, and being really beat overall. Marlyn came by to hang for a bit and take a look at my shelves, and she'll probably pick them up later this week.

I fell asleep for a bit, while laying down and trying to keep my stomach from lurching its way out of my body... it's really been awful lately due to stress and frustration. London left while I was sleeping to go spend the night with Jess. The original plan was apparently to have her over tonight. Just couldn't WAIT, could he? He left today knowing full well that I would be long gone by the time he returns from work tomorrow. He didn't even attempt to say goodbye. I felt so ridiculous for crying... thankfully that was short-lived, because he wasn't worth shedding a single tear over. He was never worth any of the heartache he put me through, because whenever it actually mattered, he was simply not there.

So now I know 2 human beings that can be classified as invertebrates; the other is someone from years ago. And I sent him a text that told him that I hope he grows a spine some day, and hope never to see him again.

At least he's been pretty consistent, though... which is more than I can say for some people.

Within an hour of this, Andy told me he was rather pleased to hear about the above horseshit, and also told me not to let the door hit me on the ass on the way out of town. Rather publicly... on Facebook. Because apparently we're still in high school & he's 12. I love knowing what a badass he thinks he is, yet he's still too scared to say anything to my face. It makes me feel even more sorry for himthan ever. He's going to lead a very lonely, bitter life as he keeps along this path. It's a shame when someone with so much good inside them and so much intelligence, creativity, and potential for greatness just wastes those qualities on being afraid of the very things that make life worth living. It's pathological, really.

I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I?

London had no reason other than simply being selfish & a coward; Andy is pissed, I guess, because I spoke up like a decent fucking human being in the interest of good people not getting hurt. See the previous entry for that "He can go fuck a unicorn" thing. Yeah, pretty much. Except knowing I'm more of a quality human being than either one of those fuckers doesn't really help, when I'm the one being shat upon by both, simultaneously.

I've never been more DONE with a place, a situation, or ANYTHING, in my entire life. Neither of them are the reason I'm leaving, but both combined to form the last straw & push me right over the cliff. I will never call this shithole town my home ever again.

I wasn't upset about Andy, though believe it or not. He's just fucked up like that. But with him, you never really know... he may even have considered it as doing me a favour and helping me move on. Unlikely, but stranger things have most certainly happened, specifically where he is concerned. I'm not wasting any more energy on thinking about it, though. All of this just makes it that much easier to leave, and I feel about 50 lbs lighter, thankfully.


Fuck You, Philadelphia.

I hope you sink into the fucking ocean, and take New Jersey with you.

I would truthfully rather die than ever live here again.


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